Is it this way or that way?
Having come back in February from a Summer in the Southern Hemisphere to a Spring in the Northern one, almost completely bypassing a Winter (not quite, so no need to feel too jealous) – I had a random thought –
Is the Southern hemisphere a season behind us, or a season in front? I guess the ‘answer’, if there is one, depends on which angle you look at the question from - it could be either this one, or that one, or both, or possibly even - none of the those… And for those who reside at the Equator, is this even a question at all?
One of the things that I enjoy about the systemic process is that it gives space for the place where any or all of these possibilities might be true at any given time. Often an Issue is there because there is a long standing pattern in the system that doesn’t know any other way of ‘being’. The result of this is that the repeat button gets pressed, over and over and over again until we start to get very, very, very bored of the tape – this growing sense of dissatisfaction is the first little spark of energy that indicates there may be another way – but which way? To introduce the idea movement in relationship to the Issue is the first step in the unsticking process.
So I invite you, even the beginners amongst you to this way of thinking - next time you feel a little ‘stuck’ in something - take a moment and try this simple exercise based on a structural constellation technique designed by Insa Sparrer and Matthias Varga von Kibbed, called a Tetralemma. It can be found in the book,”Miracle, Solution, and System” by “Insa Sparrer
Set up four cushions or markers on the floor –
one to represent the current state of ‘stuckness’,
one to represent the opposite of this state,
one to represent the place where both have a place and
one to represent the place of something else entirely…
Then take a little time to just go and stand in each place and see how it is for you in each place in relation to the others – notice what is happening in your body, where your thoughts or attention is drawn, ask questions of yourself, Better? Worse? Same? Different? Hard to move? Easy to move? Where and how do I feel this in my body? What new knowledge do I take away now from this position?
You need only to take 5 mins, more if you want to - but in that space allow yourself to sink into the unconscious somatic experiences that have been part of the driving force of your behaviour to this point – you never know, it might open up some new possibilities – and if not, you got to do something a little cooky and different.
Good luck – and if you do it and feel the urge to, do let me know how you got on.